Home is... home

So Sacramento... how is it goin so far? home is... home. its just how it was when I left it 5 years ago. The only difference is that i'm much more intelligent, well rounded, and positive about every aspect of my life at this point. I understand that i'm home because I need to be. I need to become financially stable before I can continue on with what I want to do later... i.e. Japan. Japan is the light at the end of the tunnel for me. I've spent a lot of time answering the question, "so now that you've graduated, what are your plans?" I answer back, "get financially stable and head to Japan." By me telling people that I am going, it continues to give me that motivation. It's definitely what I keep telling myself. I know that i'm the kind of person that follows through with what I say, and for those rare moments where I am not able to, they're all because of good reasons. It was reaffirmed to me the other week when I found out that I wasn't able to go to Irvine during this upcoming Halloween weekend. I had received a call from my mom saying that we were getting the keys to the new house on the 31st, meaning we would be moving in that weekend. To my surprise, I wasn't even all that angry or frustrated. It is what it is. As I sat at in the kitchen talking to my mom about moving in I quickly thought of all the ways I could possibly still be able to move and head down south, unfortunately no go. I walk out of the kitchen and the first thing that caught my eye, was the statue of Jesus hanging on the wall by the stairs. Yea, it may be me looking too far into it, but it took me by surprise and I looked at him straight in the eyes and said, "things happen for a reason, huh??" and I smiled. Being home has its ups and downs, but right now there are a lot more ups for sure. There is always food in the fridge. I mean always. You can appreciate something like that if you've looked in your fridge and cabinets countless times and every time you look, theres nothing. I couldn't even count how many times that has happened to me or any of my friends back in the 'Vine. Haha, always opening the fridge hoping there was something you missed, but no. Still nothing. I've had a lot of very good conversations with my mom, step dad, uncle, and aunt (my mom, step dad, and I are living with my aunt and uncle until we move into our new place this upcoming weekend). Conversations that go from whats for dinner to the presidential debate, my current plan for the near future to what indian casino they want to go to for the night, etc... It's comforting to know that they are all supportive with what my plans are. I was definitely waiting for the talk about how they think I fucked up in Irvine and thats the reason why I had to go live back home, how i'm not working right now and on the current job hunt, etc. To my surprise, it was nothing like that. If anything, they were completely supportive with my decision to move back home. Not only are they supportive, they're extremely happy to have me back. It all took me to surprise because they had said nothing to me concerning that what so ever. I always felt a cold shoulder coming from them at times when topics would be brought up within conversations. Having that support from the people I feel like I must continue to make proud, definitely assists with keeping my head up and continuing that positive outlook on things.

Home is home... I wake up fairly early, run errands if need be, clean the house, apply to jobs, etc. Just recently i've been trying to learn how to play the piano. I've been youtubing piano lessons for certain songs that I wanted to learn (Feather-Nujabes, Notorious Thugs- BTnH n' biggie). So far so good, just another something to keep me busy during the day. I find myself thinking of chores around the house to just keep myself busy, and them happy by me doing all of these things.

I've been able to get back in touch with my good friends from back home. I never really thought about it, but I only consider about a handfull of people good friends here in Sacramento. The ones that are still around are probably some of the sickest people I know. It's quite funny being able to kick it with them again after so long. I keep thinking and telling them, "homie.. you gotta meet (insert name), you two would get a long soo well..." To be able to see a lot of similarities between my great friends from Irvine keeps me very content. Leaving Irvine was what needed to happen. The only thing I miss dearly is not living close by to all my homies. I am no longer able to kick it with a phone calls notice. I no longer can leave the house to kick it somewhere with homies at any given time. Thats what I miss. I like to chill with the homies, and living back home has deprived me from that so much. But then again, its not about that all the time. I've definitely been more productive with what needs to be done within these past 3.5 weeks.

I've been sharing the knowledge, positivity, and inspiration to all those who are willing to listen. A lot of people like to listen, not to be preached at. Thats exactly how I feel when people try to talk to me about things. I tune them out as soon as I feel like they are condescending or preaching. If someone is trying to share something important, to them I am all ears. They just need to realize that after walking away from the conversation, it will be stored in the back of my head like a file drawer for reference, only to be pulled out when needed. Fortunately for me, i've had plenty of those conversations and i'm constantly opening that file drawer every day. It's all about paying it forward...

I don't know where this blog is going, im just babbling. If you've read this far, thank you? thank you for reading , its quite nice being able to just babble on and on and on and on....