free write

the simple properties can lead to simple philosophies

bringing one to his knees as if he had been burnin trees

continuous emotions of lost and guilt is what hes built

drinking shit but instead needs that glass of milk

rejuvenating it may seem, calcium into his bones

"drink milk to prevent osteoporosis" say the clones

get on your feet and off the ground, dont you ever stay down!

in a struggle within himself

in a struggle within itself

in a struggle within... who?

the dude who blew through, who knew what he was getting into

things begin to not be what they seem

and yet constantly moving toward that dream

break through the obstacles, even when your in sub-tropical

weather fluently changes amongst our very own eyes

playing peek-a-boo within a disguise

it begins to shine, he thinks 'its mine', then again his mind is benign

a quick glance to see that chance

only to invigorate, motivate, and stimulate that dance

that feeling epitomizing freedom, ya dig?

free flowing of the body without a care in the world

you and you moving like your body's been hurled

across the floor wanting it more and more

its a feeling that is hard to describe

can someone explain it better for a bribe?

its that goal in the distance that could be reality

only way to get there, is through me

can it be. this california redwood tree.

the years it takes for you to bloom

of course you'll feel doomed.

postin in your room as if on shrooms

contemplating about what the fuck is goin on

rather have fun like a blonde

what lies in front is whats focused

nahhhh, thats bogus

now is it? some may say the present is eminent

or is it the future.

can it be both?

put it together like a recipe for meatloaf

mix that shit up

its not the present, nor the future, and definitely not the past

all by itself.

it must consist of everything

utilizing the past for the present, and preparing for the future

its a full time gig putting it all together in a blur

where is this going? i dont know. this stream of conciousness has got me afloat

dippin n' ridin on this river of thoughts

my mind is playin tricks like the first time i tried dip n' dots

is it ice cream? why isn't it melting?wtf is going on? it melts when it hits the toungue

a new experience is on the wall now hung

you should see that wall with shelves of experiences

if they could only talk, maybe write it all out in chalk

they could tell a story. ohhhhh the glory!

get up, stand up. stand up for your right!

you only have a short time before your flight...

Marvel VS Capcom 2 - Sountrack?!

Artists features on the game's "mixtape" include the following rap greats, who, we're told, are providing original songs inspired by MvsC2 and other fighting games and fighting game themes:

- Raekwon
- Talib Kweli
- E40
- DJ Qbert
- Hieroglyphics
- The Grouch and Eligh of Living Legends
- Planet Asia
- MC Supernatural
- Havoc of Mobb Deep
- DJ Toure
- And more...

The soundtrack will be issued for free on Marvel.com, Capcom-Unity.com, and the game's promo site tu4ar.com. Capcom is also exploring options for issuing the music downloadable directly to consoles, but has no plans to announce yet.

w3s-p w3s-p's Blog :: MvC2 Mix Tape Video Premiere: The Grouch and Eligh

To those Royal heads...

Tomorrow it begins... rock that shit!

this is my mic, this is my beef

This has the potential to be a long entry...

I was able to watch America's Got Talent and only caught the end of it. This fella had a deep ass voice. He talked about how much he loved to sing and that this moment would be the greatest platform that he would ever perform on. He killed it. The crowd loved him, the judges loved him, shit I was sitting down clapping giving him props. He started to cry. For some reason this happened to be one of those moments where I was sitting on the couch studying the reactions of not only the performer but those around him. The judges were so proud of him. The crowd was ecstatic. He was happy. You could tell that he gave everything he had. So much passion and charisma while on stage. The judges continued to say how proud they were... Hmm... That word 'proud'. There have been countless times where I have sat back and been proud of someone. Whether it was my brother winning a medal in little league back in the day, my sister going through pledgeship for a Filipino sorority, new Brothers crossing, my friends getting the courage to dance on stage, friends making people laugh, friends speaking their mind through poetic raps... or even young cats crossing this masking tape of a line on the floor. Proud. The judges said they were proud of him. I was proud of him and I didn't even know the guy. I smiled. I sat on the couch and was smiling for hella long. I was happy. Happy for him, but nonetheless happy. This brought me back. I want to be happy by making others be happy? I feel like this is something that everyone wants to do. To me its something more. Something deeper than just making someone smile.

"Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It is not just in some of us; it is in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others."-- Marianne Williamson

It's that bolded sentence. "As we let our own light shine, we unconciously give other people permission to do the same." Helping others realize their potential is definitely something I am passionate about. It's probably why i've dwelled for the longest time on whether or not I would like to be a teacher. That is just one of the many careers I know I could do that would allow me to do these things. I wish I could get a list of all the careers that would allow me to do this consistently. I know someday I will, I just wish something/someone would just point me into the right direction. Now in no way would I try to compare myself to him, but Michael Jackson is quite possibly the epitome of this quote as of now. Ask any person you know that entertains. Anyone. Dancer, singer, musician, etc. They all have had some type of influence from Michael Jackson. He let his own light shine for the world to see, which allowed millions of people from around the world to achieve their own goals and let their own light shine as well. I strive that someday I will find that outlet for me to do the same.

I got home today and checked emails and got one back from Aclipse, then one later on from AEON. It looks like Japan and Korea are a no go for now. 'Korea' simply said they were no longer going to further my application to teach abroad, sorry for this disappointing news, blah blah blah. 'Japan' didn't have any openings for me during this time, straight up. Whether or not I am going to apply again to another agency is still up in the air. I believe things happen for a reason. Does this mean I apply to another program hoping it leads to another position elsewhere? Or does this mean that I put that on the back burner for awhile, and handle shit at home? Or do I say fuck it, it wasn't meant to be and don't even think about it again? I have no idea. I'm leaning towards the second one right now. Not having to think about leaving the country in a couple of months kind of puts me at ease. I didn't plan on this whole job situation being so shitty for so long. This gives me a sense of relief now. Knowing that I am not leaving in a few months can now give me that peace of mind when trying to find a position. This whole time, I was trying to find a gig that I could just have and not worry about it leading to something better. I was afraid that if I landed a job that did, I would be even more apprehensive about leaving. I felt that I would back out because i'd get comfortable and content.

So where does that leave me? I guess you can say that I am at the low point of this cosine graph of life. The valley between the highs and happiness. These emails didn't bring me to this point. It added to the fire of a lot of things: family, the job hunt, finances, and me. This is just a MOMENT. I will not dwell in this for too long. Sarah helped me realize earlier that this is just one of those moments where I need to gather myself, get the energy and motivation again to put my head down and move forward. To get back on track of remaining optimistic and positive w/ a focused mindset. Doing so takes a lot out of a person. Having that drive constantly challenges me everyday. It's difficult to remain so optimistic, so positive. It's a challenge. A challenge I enjoy taking on everyday. I enjoy it because I feel like I better myself by the end of the day. I am able to instill in my own life the great characteristics I have, but also characteristics of those who have influenced me. By the time I put my head down for that habitual long blink, I can say to myself that I did. I went through the day making progress. A progress that seems to be slow as fuck, but a progress nonetheless.

As of now, I have an opportunity in front of me. I'm doing the steps necessary to achieve this goal. It will allow me to share with others who I am. It will allow others to share with me, who they are. An exchange of motivation if you will. An exchange of perspectives. To be able to go on an adventure and have this chance to "seek the stories of individuals who have chosen to live life based on what they're passionate about. And from these stories, I hope to be inspired to define my own road in life by truly following what lights me up."

Thank your family and friends. Continue to thank those who constantly urge you to better yourself everyday. Those who infuse motivation and support. Without them, life would be even more difficult than it is. We are blessed...

free write

College is a waste of time he says
Talkin' about how he wished he never went
His passion in that statement was like he was trying to repent...
Repent his sins for a decision that he felt was a mistake.
At the age of 19 he decided to make this choice
To take this "opportunity" because it's not a "job"
Who am I to say shit about his decisions
His intuitions that lead to his condition... of positivity?
He's got a mouth piece that keeps woofin
I continue to nod my head w/ his statements at this point
"Stray away from the negativity and run this joint!!"
"Put your head down and move forward to your goal!!"
...I aint no fool
"You too can be just like me..."
...I will never be like you

So I explain to him about the possibility
Of me going abroad to teach and be free
Free from the confines
And the baggage it entails
Free to be Kind
And eat spicy pickled cabbage for my meal

Are you sure?!?!

Weren't you just talkin about being positive?
Here you go speakin bout opportunities
Teaching abroad is a goal for me

But you'll be away from your family.

You speak truth.
But what is that worth if they support me
Support my decision
My motivation
To gain even more knowledge... So I dropped this line
"Life without knowledge, is Death in disguise"
Do you agree?

Sitting with a stunned look on his face
His expression as if i whispered "check mate"
He just wants me to stay and hustle
Muddle these words of "hey girl, you smellin kinda troubled???"
Nah, im cool.
I'm not cool doing this 'marketing' gig
I'd rather chill w/ the homies at a shindigg

But you didn't go to college to be a teacher.

I went to college to grow.
The saying of how what we learn in college is
80% outside of the classroom
and 20% in... I'm a walking example.
I know I have interacted with many different kinds of people
I know I have influenced, and have been influenced.
I stand before you as a positively, optimistic, maximizing havin, chillin w/ the homies, doing work, being a boss like influenced individual.

But thank you for this reassurance.
A reminder of why I have my goals
A reminder of my every day values
A reminder to stay motivated.

To go from shop to shop
This conversation became nothing more than a pit stop.