Hoping for the best... update

So it's been a few weeks since i've updated or put anything on this here blog. There have definitely been those moments these past few weeks where i've thought about putting what I was thinking into my next blog update. So here goes, another entry that should be pretty long and jump from here to there. 

A lot has happened. Christmas here in Sacramento for the first time in a long time, New Years in Irvine and a week long vacation down there, applying for Japan, and starting my new job as a tutor at a local middle school.  Christmas just didnt' feel like Christmas. Actually the holidays just didn't seem like the holidays. Couldn't really put my finger on why it felt that way, but it just did. I realized that I don't think i'll ever have the same excitement as I had when I was a child growing up.  I used to look forward to my cousins coming a day or two before Christmas and spending that time with them. Having the house full of family for several days where at the end we would almost get sick and tired of each other. No more. We all meet the day of now, see each other for a few hours then everyone seems to go on their way.  Fortunately for me, the cousins know wassup. We're all down as fuck and kick it whenever possible. It was a good thing to hear from my Grandma and aunties that they were happy we all were very close. There are 13 total grandchildren on my father's side.  The six eldest are all one year apart, i'm the second eldest. So growing up, we've always called ourselves "the six". Having my grandma and the rest of the family say how happy they were, how they hoped it never changed, and how it has influenced the younger cousins to be just as close was very uplifting.  It was the first time in a long time the six of us were able to kick it, largely due to me living in so cal for the past five years.  Overall, Christmas wasn't the same, don't ever think it will be, but definitely one to remember.

Then came the vacation. Luckily for me, Ray and Errol were nice enough to swoop me up in Sacramento from Union City before we headed to Irvine. Very grateful, thanks again homies!! Not only did I have a great New Years, but a much needed visit down there in Irvine.  It brought closure.  Although I have stated in the past that I know that I moved up here for me and all that shit, after visiting down south, it was made very clear to me.  I felt like I binged when it came to chillin. I commend those who are able to maintain their lifestyle while still working hard.  I myself am very capable of doing such, I think I just lost sight on that aspect for awhile.  Being back home has definitely put things into persepctive and because of that, I feel I am the most motivated and productive than I have been in awhile.  I was very glad to see all the people I was able to see while I was down there.  If I wasn't able to kick it w/ you while I was down there, no need to worry. It's not like I won't be making it down there again.  Rest assure, I will make plenty of trips down to so cal, and we will have plenty of other times to kick it.  This trip has also reaffirmed my belief in having good friends and surrounding yourself with positivity.  I really like how it felt like I hadn't even left. My homies were still my homies, not treating me any different just because I was gone. Some may say how is that possible? Believe me it is. I am thankful to those of you who were very understanding when we weren't able to meet up or see each other. Just because we weren't able to kick it, does not mean in any way I was trying to diss you, ignore you, etc. please believe that. I found it hard to believe that someone actually would say things of that sort just because our schedules didn't match, or I missed a phone call, or something else happened. blah blah blah... writers block.

I had just finished my essay for Japan. "Why do you want to live and work in Japan?" Broad as fuck when it comes to an essay prompt I feel. When I first started to write it, I was thinking about how difficult it may be trying to answer that question only with 500 words, hahaha... why did I end up with a lot more than the minimum?? I just kept typing and typing. Although I am finished, I feel like there is still plenty for me to write. I wanted to put everything into that essay to make them realize that by not picking me, it would be detrimental to their company. I'm just confident, ya feel me?! This is a reality. No longer is it a "i think i'll do it" thought, this is by far one of the most definite things in my future. Whether or not it is the program I am applying for now, I'm going to get there some way some how, straight up... I feel it is imperative to my well being for me to get there. 

I started tutoring last week. I had a great time. I tutored two 5th graders in math and reading comprehension. I was able to use Kung Fu Panda as an example to relate some of the material. When doing so, the two 5th graders were so excited and even told me the next day that it was something they remembered and shared with their classmates.  It is very rewarding to see things that I have taught to others being utilized. I am very excited to get this going for the next couple of months.  So far so good, things look promising.

Hoping for the best. Continue to stay positive.